Cry baby

Image by HoboMama via Flickr

My baby was a great sleeper when he was swaddled. Once he outgrew the swaddle, I was screwed. “Just let him cry it out” Do you have any idea how many times I have heard that in the last few months? “He will only cry for a few minutes, and hour tops” Yeah, right! LIAR!!! Have you met my kid? He is as stubborn, if not more so, as his mommy. I fought tooth and nail against this advice. I looked up all of the research, since I am all about attachment parenting, and decided against it. I even got into arguments with my husband about it. Then, one day, I agreed to let the baby cry it out. I listened, in agony, to the wails of my six month old SCREAMING his head off while I sat there counting the seconds until I could go back in and comfort him. Just when I thought he had calmed down, he started to scream even louder. We ran into his room over and over again-for three hours! Finally, exhausted and confused, he passed out. We were certain that the next night would be even better. Sure. The following night he cried for FIVE HOURS. What? I thought it was supposed to get easier with each night. We couldn’t possibly keep doing this to him. On top of that, we both had to get some sleep and go to work. So, after wiping the tears from his face, we decided that we would not do this to him anymore. Instead, I slept with the baby every night for the next few months. He loved it. He slept well. I slept. Well or not, I slept. Unfortunately, my hubby, puppy, and I missed each other.

During a check-up with the pediatrician, my hubby asked again about what we could do to get the little guy to sleep. She said the only thing that we could do is (all together now!) let him cry it out! He would eventually understand that we were “not coming for him”. So, I explained how hard it was on him and me, how nobody in my family has ever done it, and how I could not bring myself to do it. She understood and said that would really be the only way. Just when I think that I am fighting a losing battle, my husband asked what she did with her kids. Her response, they slept with her! I felt SO much better about myself right then and there. So, we agreed not to put him through the torture. Then a few weeks later, while I am getting the little guy to bed, he starts trying to get himself more comfortable and soothing himself into a good sleep position. I ran to my husband and told him that I thought the baby might be old enough to try it again. He thought I was joking! So, we decided to try it again. After about an hour, with lots of consoling, he went to sleep. We tried again during his 2:30 AM wake-up call-no feeding, he just wakes up for a minute or two at 2:30 every night. This time it took 20 minutes. Ok, so we are improving! The third night, fifteen minutes and he settled himself down in the middle of the night. So, even though it is hard, we are trying to keep it up. The little champ is hanging in there and is rewarded with tons of hugs and kisses when he gets up in the morning (let’s face it-every second we have with him). Hopefully this will work out for us and he will continue to be a warm and loving kid.

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I think they sent me home with the wrong baby...

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In the hospital, my little man was a pro at sleeping and breastfeeding. I was a pro at feeding him. I was ready. I read books and articles on the internet. I knew what I was doing. Somewhere on the ride home, I lost my skills. Completely. Fast forward five weeks and you have an exhausted mom bribing her colicky newborn to get him to go to sleep. Finally, after offering to buy him a new car for his 16th birthday, he fell asleep. I was so wiped. I asked my family and friends and, luckily for them, ALL of their kids slept through the night from the first night home from the hospital. Seriously? Come on. Did you truly forget some sleepless nights? Were you drunk and didn't hear the baby? Or are you a liar? In desperation, I spent any waking moment not holding the baby on the internet looking for help. I found "The Happiest Baby on the Block" DVD and thought it couldn't hurt. When it arrived, my husband literally turned to me and thanked me. It worked for us right away. Sure, I still wasn't sleeping 8-9 hours a night but I was sleeping in more than 1.5 hour stretches. It completely paid off when a family member (with one of those perfect kids that never cried and slept all night) watched in amazement while my husband calmed our two-month old within seconds of a crying spell. She even dropped the charade to ask us how he did it. I completely recommend it to every mother I know but remember, what works for one baby doesn't necessarily work for another. If you are interested, here is their website. BTW, I am not getting anything in return for telling you about them. I just know it worked for us for a few months. More on that later...

http://www.happiestbaby.com/

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Moms Lie

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So, as a new mother, I seek advice from the older and wiser mothers I know. Those experienced mothers who may or may not appear to have it all together but, they have kids. Their kids are surviving so clearly they must have done something right. The problem is, these women LIE. Whatever problem I mention to them, it never happened to them. "What did you do when your baby woke up screaming because he was teething?" The response "My baby never woke up. He slept all night long like a sweet angel and magically woke up with a mouth full of teeth. We are so lucky. It must be SO hard for you." Really? Are you kidding me? You liar.  I'm not asking for the secrets to the universe. Just some advice. Hook a mother up! I have come to the conclusion that MOMS LIE! Why? I don't really know. Is it so that no one knows they had no idea what they were doing? Is it fun to watch someone falter? Maybe it is some twisted desire to make sure that they are the better mother or their child is the "good one". All I can do is offer the truth about what motherhood is like for me. Hopefully, it will help some other mom out there.

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